I'm Kind of Kosher

I'm a vegetarian. To some, that would mean, by default, I keep kosher. I don't mix milk and meat because I've completely eliminated the latter from my diet.

Others, however, would say I don't. My boyfriend eats meat off of the same plates I eat dairy. I eat at restaurants and friends' houses.

I drink non-kosher wine (although I'm one of the few people who can't get enough of Manischewitz) and don't reduce my grocery shopping only to foods with kosher symbols.

So, am I kosher or not? As far as I can tell, the answer to that question is up to the discretion of the individual. My boyfriend's family keep dishes separate at home, but eat out at restaurants. He'll even have a cheeseburger, as long as it's not in his parents' house.

I've known people who consider themselves kosher simply because they don't eat pork.

But the thing is, whenever people ask me if I keep kosher, I don't know what to say. I became a vegetarian 18 years ago, when I was 5 years old. It was because the idea of eating an animal, once I figured out that's what meat was, grossed me out. It had nothing to do with my religion. I never even heard the word "kosher" until I was a few years into my vegetarianism.

When people ask me if I keep kosher, "kind of" is usually what comes out. That question and that answer, I think, are the best depictions of the phase I'm at in my life right now, which this blog will try to capture.

I'm 23-years-old. I graduated with a degree in journalism and Spanish from the University of Wisconsin-Madison last May. I'm about seven months into my first full time job.

I moved in with my boyfriend, Jeff, of two years when we graduated (we're now going on three). He came from a conservative Jewish family in Grand Rapids, Michigan, whereas I grew up reform in Milwaukee.

With our college years in the recent past and a verbal commitment to one day get married and have a family, we've begun to weigh the similarities and differences of our Jewish upbringings against the Jewish family life we intend to form for ourselves and our children.

We're at that awkward interlude where we're not as much a part of our family's Jewish traditions as we once were, but we haven't been away long enough to form Jewish identities of our own.

But that, I think, is the beauty of Judaism. The freedom to define it for yourself.

I would never say I'm kind of Jewish. I'm Jewish to the full extent, my extent, though my beliefs and customs may vary greatly from another Jew's, whose traditions may vary from someone else's.

But I'm kind of kosher, depending on whether you define it by intent, practice or law. I don't know how I define it. Maybe, during these transition years I'll figure it out. But maybe not, and that's ok too.

Photo: Jeff and me at graduation