Where do we go from here?

It doesn't matter how smart, strong or mature you are. Serious decisions are some of the most difficult challenges we all has to face.

If you're lucky, like I was, your parents prepare you for these conundrums over time. Chocolate or vanilla ice cream? Do you want to be a cheerleader or a pumpkin for Halloween?

Deciding who to invite to your Birthday parties, how to confront friends that have let you down. Choosing classes in high school, and choosing a college.

But there's almost nothing anyone can do to prepare you to make life decisions with another person.

Sure you learn to compromise with your siblings, but our disagreements were better preparation for the LSAT than they were for a relationship. You learn to bargain down your opponent until you get as close to your way as possible.

No one tells you it doesn't work that way in a relationship. They tell you to be a strong woman, to put yourself first, to not give your life up chasing a boy.

But what happens when that boy supports you and respects you, and you realize that giving him up would be more than painful--it would be wrong.

So you have to decide together.

For the second year in a row, Jeff and I have had to decide where to live. Last year, when we were both still in college, it did not go well. We tried everything. We went through every hypothetical, we tried to compromise and we tried to weigh whose options were better where.

We realized we can prepare as much as we want, but most of the time, the end result is nowhere near what either of us would've predicted.

What I've learned through the process is to let go. I don't like to be surprised, and I don't like to wait for things to happen. But when it comes to things like uprooting your life, there's only so much you can do. Sometimes you just have to breathe and remind yourself you're strong enough to take in whatever's coming.

Jeff and I decided to move to Washington D.C. at the end of May. It was a long process and a hard decision, but it was better this year. We talked a lot and we worked hard to gather as much information as possible. But we had fun, too. We took breaks. We went to movies. We bought each other dinner. We reminded each other no matter what we decided, we'd be starting our lives together. There's no wrong answer for that.

In a relationship, you're supposed to compromise. But I don't see it like that. Compromising is a give and take. But I don't want to take anything away from him, and he doesn't want to take anything away from me. The perfect place for me might be a nightmare for us as a couple. The bottom line is, if your significant other isn't happy, there's no way you can be either.

In the end, we put all our cards on the table. We made pros and cons lists but we didn't use them. We talked, and then we put it all aside for a few days and the answer became clear. All facts aside, we knew where we wanted to be. We realized we'd known this all along.

Photo: Jeff and me in DC, battling the wind to pose for a photo